Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
3 2 1 whiskey
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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