It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It's official drugs can't kill me
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Randomize
