Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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