umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
