I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
