I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
it glows. i had to have it.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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