Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
