Farmville is her only friend.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
