His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
