They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
