I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
