just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
