Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Pooping to opera.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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