Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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