everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
