this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
