So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize