If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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