:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
