I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
