Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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