I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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