Your mouth is God's brothel.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
