haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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