there's paper in my vomit.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
