You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
