she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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