so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
