I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
