party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
