yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
did you just send me my own nude
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
