I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
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