Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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