So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
is that a dick in a sweater?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
