The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
