just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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