it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
