Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
