Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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