my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
