I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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