you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
not ubering you a puppy
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