you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
