eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
