your room smells of hookers.
And success
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm sobbing to NWA
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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