you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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