sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
