Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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