Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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