There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
