Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
