i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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