Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
