What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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