omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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