I woke up to her vacumming the grass
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
