So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
