I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
